My son, how are you doing?
Time flies. It's been seven years since I was taken away from you. You were a boy back then. Now you are a bright and sophisticated college student. I'm so glad! The electric net and the high wall separate me from you. I can only walk towards you in my dream, bringing you my firm belief in truth.
Each and every day in the past seven years, like any mum in the world, I thought about you. My best wishes have always been with you when you grew up! Even though I couldn't hold your hands I knew Truth-Compassion-Forbearance, the truth of the cosmos, had taken deep root in your heart. When you were eight years old, your mum was lucky enough to start practising Falun Gong. I took you with me to the group study every day. At an experience sharing conference, you and a few other little practitioners went onstage to demonstrate the meditation exercise. You all looked very focused and solemn. I was so impressed that I remember it vividly even today.
One night when you were fifteen years old, we were suddenly awoken from our sleep. Policemen broke into our apartment and searched our home and took me away. Since then, I haven't been back home. I was worried then about the hundreds of Falun Gong books in our home. You were so clever that you took a few with you every day on your way to school and passed the precious materials on to fellow practitioners. You took a few each day until all of them were safely in the hands of other practitioners. This is a secret between us. Nobody else knew about this. In those days, our phone was tapped and the police monitored our home. The way that you cherish Falun Gong moved me to tears. As your mum, I want to say thank you! How could I not still be concerned about you? How could I try to find excuses not to firmly and righteously walk down the path of cultivation during this inhumane persecution?
Because of the persecution, you lost the warmth of our home and you had to mature early. My brave son! You didn't give in to the tribulation imposed upon us. You even wrote to me often and came to visit and encourage me. I'm so thankful to you! I have suffered all kinds of torture here. It has been like hell on earth. In the most vicious environment, I came to see more clearly that the reason a person can survive in the most difficult situation is because he or she has a soul with a strong belief! Where did people come from? Where are they going? It is Falun Gong that answered all my questions. And I found hope in my cultivation. Isn't it uplifting if we can persevere when Falun Gong is being slandered and treated unfairly, and while the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) torture us and try to force us to give up our beliefs? So the suffering is not for naught! However, it would be devastating if a person lost his or her perseverance and belief.
In this brutal persecution, I came to understand more about life. Pushed to the extreme, I found I could still bear a little more. When I found it was hard to let go of something, I found I can give out more. My right to take care of my parents and my child were taken away. Nevertheless, my belief in the Falun Gong has always been with me and nothing can disturb me any more.
We were handcuffed. We were shackled. We were tied down to a tiger bench1. It was so cold here and we were not allowed to sleep well. Bad people tried to brainwash us. However, with all of this physical torture and persecution of our mind and spirit, while we are being wronged, so many of us remained steadfast.
Five years after I was taken away from you, you started to go to college, which meant you could start to visit me. In the visitation room, on the other side of the big glass window, I was eagerly looking for the little face that I was so familiar with. Yet, time has changed both of us. You are now grown up! You look so confident and righteous. I was so happy! You are no longer a little boy, but now a man. Your first words to me then were, "Mum, you have been so courageous!"
You said in your previous letter, "The clouds are gone. The sun is coming out. Flowers are blossoming at our apartment. The whole building is immersed in the fragrance of our flowers. The flowers are blossoming for mum. They are welcoming mum home. Together let's get ready for the beautiful future!"
Together with my letter, I send you my best wishes for you!
Please give my regards to others in the family!
Finally, I wish your dreams come true!
Mum, in Prison
1. "Tiger Bench": Prisoners are forced to sit on a small iron bench that is approximately 20 cm (6 inches) tall with their knees tied together. With their hands tied behind their backs or sometimes placed on their knees, they are forced to sit straight up and look straight ahead without movement for long periods of time.
Chinese version available at http://minghui.ca/mh/articles/2009/11/7/212068.html
You are welcome to print and circulate all articles published on Clearharmony and their content, but please quote the source.