After receiving the Divine Performing Arts (DPA) DVD--Mainland China edition, I immediately bought DVDs to copy them as well as print labels and package them. I was worried when I noticed some practitioners who used poor quality DVDs to make copies and packaged them sloppily or were not mindful and carelessly distributed the DVDs. In the past 10 or more days I have been thinking about this: Why are these practitioners not on the Fa and why have they not paid attention to this? During group Fa-study, I could not calm down and mentioned this whenever there was a break. As a result, I sometimes missed words when reading the Fa. When sending forth righteous thoughts together, I sometimes coughed and could not concentrate, either.
Some practitioners mentioned that my cultivation state was not right. I felt wronged: I am doing this for the Fa and for other practitioners. What I did not realize was that I was too attached to doing things. With Master and the Fa, every practitioner is cultivating in Dafa, and they will all be rectified and assimilated to the Fa. Instead of looking within, I always want to change others instead of myself. I have been working like an auditor.
One day a practitioner asked me to calm down, study the Fa well, and adjust my cultivation state. When looking back at the past two or three months, I was very attached to accomplishing more. Very often I did not have time for Fa-study until very late. By then, however, I was very sleepy and thus I could not concentrate. When my mind is not pure, I have allowed myself to be interfered with as well as interfering with other practitioners. I felt bad and decided to really look within. For such a long period of time, I had been interfered with and could not be clear-mined. Isn't this a major loophole? I calmed down to look within and no longer felt wronged. I had found that I had been attached to too many things. I used to think I had done very well in cultivation, with a good understanding of the Fa. With the attachment of showing-off, I always wanted to direct others and have been worrying about other practitioners' attachments. Seeing their behaviour was not on the Fa, and I was very disturbed. When sharing with other practitioners, I often criticized others without truthfulness or compassion. In addition, I did not cultivate my speech and have spread negative words around. How can this be a genuine and diligent Dafa disciple?
"Even now some people still can't concentrate when it comes to reading the books. Those of you who do work for Dafa, especially, shouldn't use any pretexts to conceal your not reading the books or studying the Fa. Even if you do work for me, your Master, you still need to study the Fa every day with a calm mind and cultivate yourself solidly. When your mind wanders all over the place as you read, the countless Buddhas, Daos, and Gods in the book see your laughable and pitiable mind, and see the karma in your thoughts controlling you, which is detestable. And yet you cling to delusion and fail to wake up. Some volunteers go long periods of time without reading or studying the Fa. How could they do Dafa work well? You have unwittingly incurred many losses that are hard to recover. Past lessons should have made you more mature. The only way to prevent the old, evil forces from taking advantage of the gaps in your mind is to make good use of your time to study the Fa." ("Towards Consummation" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
From now on I will calm down and truly study the Fa well. No matter under what circumstances, I will let go of attachments and look within. I will genuinely cultivate and truly improve.
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