In the past, I had been reluctant to participate in group Fa-study because I always felt sleepy. Thus, I found all kinds of excuses to avoid studying with the group. Later after I read Minghui Weekly and through studying the Fa, I realized that I was far behind. Fa-study groups have been established in various regions, but I still found excuses not to participate. It was actually because of my laziness and the attachment of seeking comfort. Realizing this, I made sure to go to group study on time every day.
There are five to six practitioners in our group. After studying the Fa for awhile, practitioners would either stretch their legs, lean against the wall, or put the book on their lap. For myself, I would find the most comfortable position. Sometimes I would eat when I felt drowsy or read while sitting on the bed. There were also times when I would sit on the sofa and fall asleep with the book on my lap. I could not hear anything that fellow practitioners read. I really wanted to go to sleep on the bed when I felt sleepy, but refrained from doing so only because I didn't want to lose face. In fact, I didn't have the will to reject or eliminate the sleep interference, or look inside.
This state lasted for a while. One day before we studied the Fa, a fellow practitioner said, "How we study the Fa is recorded in another dimension. In such a sacred field, we are doing various things such as sleeping and talking. It is truly disrespectful to Teacher and Dafa. I know a practitioner who has practised for over 10 years and her book is still like new. When she reads the book, she opens it gently and is careful not to damage the paper. She cherishes the book from the bottom of her heart. When she holds the book with both of her hands, she would place the protective book cover underneath. When she reads, she sits in the double-lotus position with both of her hands holding up the book. She has been strict with herself. If she has certain negative thoughts in her mind while reading, she looks inside and eliminates them immediately. Therefore, the Fa's deep meaning manifests to her. She said that the content of Zhuan Falun has been engraved in her mind. Teacher has done so much for us, but we can't even hold up the book with our hands?
After hearing this, another practitioner and I shed tears. The whole group was quiet and we all felt ashamed. In fact, we were unable to pay attention to our position in such a sacred environment. Teacher said, "At that time, when students went to school, they practised sitting in meditation and emphasized good posture." ( Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun) If students in ancient times can achieve this, then practitioners should place even more emphasis on respecting the Fa and Teacher.
It is not that Dafa does not manifest deeper meaning to us. It is that, "In this universe, there is a principle which says: 'no loss, no gain.' To gain, one must lose." ( Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun) If we are truly strict with our every thought, the Fa principles will be shown to us. If we cannot even sit up while studying the Fa, how can we bear any hardship? Everyone is equal in front of Dafa. I now understand that if we do not truly respect Teacher and the Fa and cannot reach the requirement of Dafa, the deeper meaning of Dafa cannot manifest to us. Although I have studied the Fa for so many years, I have only come to this realization after my fellow practitioner pointed it out. I am ashamed of myself.
Now everyone in our Fa-study group is strict with themselves. We sit upright, hold up the book with both hands and read the Fa word by word. Even if we are tired, we don't slack off in any of those areas. If our legs hurt, we switch from double-lotus to the single-lotus position. Thinking of how much Teacher has suffered so much for us. How can we be worthy of Teacher's salvation? Everyone has improved through this experience sharing.
If fellow practitioners are in a similar state, please correct it. In other dimensions, sentient beings kneel down when listening to the Fa. We Dafa practitioners should also honour its sacredness. Our behaviour is a manifestation of our xinxing and level. Dafa gives us so much. How can we not conform to the standard of Dafa?
This is only my limited understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.
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