A while ago, practitioner A told practitioner B that he wanted to rent a room in my house. There are several empty rooms in my house, so I rent some to non-practitioners. However, I have a small Dafa materials production site, and practitioner A also has a small site. With regard to security, I didn't think that it was wise to have two sites together. Also, practitioner A has a regular income and can provide food and shelter for himself without problems. I looked inside and found that I had some feelings toward him so I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachment. Afterwards, practitioner A didn't bring this up again.
During the past two days, practitioner A told practitioner B again that he wanted to rent a room in my house. He was very firm about it, his notion being that if I could rent to non-practitioners, then I should be even more willing to rent to a practitioner. Because both of us are very busy, we had no chance to talk in person, the above was passed to me from practitioner B. I felt like I was put in an awkward position. Practitioner A had previously given me a lot of help when I needed it, so I felt I couldn't refuse him this time. I was also perplexed because I thought I had found my attachment last time, so why did the same problem occur again? I hadn't looked inside, and I was only thinking about ways to refuse him without hurting our relationship. I thought about the situation using human notions.
That night I had a dream. Master was teaching the Fa in my dream, and I was sitting in the last row. I remembered that Master said, "This is the most convenient school of practice. In addition, it is practised directly according to the characteristic of the universe. It is the quickest, most direct path, and it precisely targets one's heart." I woke up afterwards and I remembered the words from the dream. Isn't this a quote from Zhuan Falun? I realized that it was Master reminding me that nothing would be possible if I didn't look inside. Last time I only found a portion of my attachment, so the problem reappeared. This incident was still directed at my attachment.
I found that I still had a very strong attachment to "saving face." During the past couple of days, practitioners told me to let go of emotion and "face." While I echoed them, "Yes, it's time to let go of 'face'," inside I was thinking, "If I spoke without minding 'face', I would offend others. It would be embarrassing to refuse others directly."
This notion of "face"is one of the more severe in my cultivation. I was taught by my parents to be "Mr. Nice Guy," which may be related to the long-term persecution by the CCP (chinese communist party). The society under the CCP is very deviated, and the conflicts between people are very pointed and delicate. To avoid being persecuted for careless words or actions, and to avoid co-workers reporting you to supervisors, people developed "Mr. Nice Guy" habits. I brought these bad things into cultivation. I used the notion of "I am cultivating Dafa, I need to let go of the attachment to self-gain," to hide my real attachments.
The morality of everyday people has dropped extensively. After people gained at my expense, they still laughed at me behind my back, thinking that I had become "dumb" after practising Falun Gong. They say, "You are all good people," but they taunt us in their hearts and don't truly respect Dafa. Also, since I am "easy to talk to, don't willingly offend others, like to talk in circles and am a nice guy," my relatives don't have the slightest bit of respect for me. Dafa has its dignity. Dafa disciples should validate Dafa, so why should others be condescending towards me? It's because I switched Dafa's standards with my own personal "be a good guy" standards.
I think this is a serious issue. There are also a few practitioners around me with the same problem. For example, some practitioners don't point out problems directly, or talk in circles when discussing issues face to face, but point fingers behind others' backs. If two practitioners have a conflict, they don't take the initiative to discuss a solution. Instead, they find a third practitioner to mediate. Coordinators not only coordinate events, they also coordinate the relationships among practitioners. Or if someone's issue is pointed out to them, instead of thinking, "This is a chance to look inside and a great opportunity to improve my xinxing," they think, "Do they have an opinion about me? They have this and that issue and they still talk about me, etc." This directly affects personal improvement and the harmony between practitioners. To put it simply, this is a selfish notion to protect oneself.
This kind of mindset manifests even more in the everyday peoples' world. Face to face, one says the other is good, but gives the person a hard time behind their back. This is very deviated and is not a part of traditional culture. It is a product of the CCP. Even though Dafa disciples are not affected by this, we should realize this in our hearts. The environment in China is not good, but practitioners have Master watching over us, and there is nothing to fear. Everything happening now is formed by Dafa disciples' attachments. We should look inside at the same time, do the three things well, and this will disintegrate the persecution.
The above was my limited personal understanding. If you see anything inappropriate, please point it out with compassion.
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