We Must Truly Search Inward to Improve Ourselves

A few days ago, the water pipe in my house broke. It happened when I was meditating in the morning. My grandson went to the bathroom and noticed that there was water all over the floor. He told me that there was water everywhere. I thought it was impossible because I recently changed the water pipe. He repeated it and asked me to hurry up. I quickly got up and saw that there was indeed water all over the place. It was a little after 5 a.m. If he hadn't gotten up, the water would have run for an hour before I noticed. (Usually he doesn't get up in the middle of the night.) I thought to myself, "This is no coincidence." I became anxious and brought in a big basin to hold water. I tried to lift up the water basin and it hurt my back. I had given myself another tribulation. At this point all human attachments jumped out. I was impatient and resentful. It felt awful.

Afterwards, I thought things over again. What a great commission I had. It was certainly no coincidence that things happened this way. Master said, "[Those ordeals and the suffering, no matter how great or harsh you find them to be,] are good things, because they take place solely on account of your cultivation." (Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference) But what was the underlying problem? Why did my grandson see it? Why was I sticking to my own views despite the facts? This was truly worth exploring.

For a long time, I have thought of myself as being relatively diligent. I have done the three things ( study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) Master asked of us, and have looked inward when something happened. On the surface, it looked like I was cultivating. However, when truly measured from a cultivator's perspective, using Dafa as a yardstick, have I been acting like a genuine practitioner? Have I really looked inward to make improvements?

Looking back at the cultivation experience of the last ten years, all of my improvements were made thanks to Master's grand compassion and care. With help from fellow practitioners, I was able to walk this far on the journey of Fa-rectification. At the last stage, Dafa also has very high standards for cultivators.

As I calmed down and truly looked inward, I felt as though I had awakened from a dream. Just as Master said, "As I've said, everything that happens today in the ordinary society is the result of Dafa disciples' thoughts."(Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.) I saw many deeply-hidden attachments, such as attachments to competitiveness, showing off, zealotry, resentment, fear, and anxiety. All of these attachments were there to protect my selfishness. As soon as I wanted to make improvements, the attachments surfaced and tried to stop me from ascending and returning to where I came. Today I will completely eliminate these attachments and walk the path arranged by Master.

I understand that as cultivators, we are cultivating away our human attachments. However, I wasn't able to make a breakthrough for a long time. When something unexpected happened, instead of using a god's thoughts, I have treated it with human attachments. This was especially true when dealing with family-related matters. For example, when educating my grandchildren, I often became angry. Once one becomes angry, one is reduced to the level of ordinary people. I also know that a cultivator should not act that way, and have determined to make a change. However, for a long time I wasn't able to break through it and was stagnant in my cultivation. Why? It was because I harboured bad elements and neglected to treat myself as a practitioner. As such, my dimensions were not righteous and my heart was not pure. In addition, I also forced my own bad elements onto my grandchildren. Because I was not compassionate, my words did not have power, and could not move others. For that reason, my grandchildren didn't listen to me, either. As time went on, I not only neglected my own cultivation but also caused harm to my grandchildren. This was extremely dangerous. All of this was a result of my cultivation state. A genuine practitioner should immediately treat it as an attachment and let it go. We need to rectify ourselves according to Dafa.

In addition, when dealing with family, friends, or fellow practitioners, when there is disagreement, do we consider others' ability to bear things from the standpoint of the Fa, or do we try to justify our feelings of unfairness? We are always keen to point out others' shortcomings, but are unable to see our own faults. When others point out our shortcomings, we feel annoyed and blame others.

Furthermore, I was also attached to my appearance. When others said that I looked younger than my age, although I didn't acknowledge it openly, I always felt good inside. What a strong attachment to vanity! A true enlightened being should not be moved. Doesn't my youthful appearance come from cultivating Dafa? Does being well dressed mean solid cultivation? We can achieve consummation only by cultivating our hearts.

When I did the three things relatively well, I had a tendency to show off and develop zealotry. When I tried to save people and ran into resistance, I was impatient. Because of these human attachments, my mind was not clear when I sent forth righteous thoughts. When studying the Fa or doing the exercises, I also had random thoughts running through my head. When I was clarifying the facts, I had a lot of fear. My most fundamental attachments are the selfish notions I formed living in the CCP (chinese communist party) culture. They have blocked the true me from coming forth.

Having realized these issues and truly let go of these bad elements and notions, I felt that my body became very light and my mind was clear. The environment around me also improved; my grandchildren began listening to me. I understood that only when we look inward, abandon all human attachments, and examine issues from the right perspective, will we be able to make strides on the path of cultivation and save more sentient beings.

My understanding is very limited. Please point out anything inappropriate.

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