In "Towards Consummation," Master said:
"Studying the Fa with attachments is not true cultivation. Yet during the course of cultivation a person may gradually become aware of his fundamental attachments, rid himself of them, and thus meet the standard for a cultivator."
For a long time, I still have had my fundamental attachments, and I studied the Fa (Law or Principles, the teachings in Falun Gong) with those attachments. I have now realised this situation, and wanted to share my experiences.
At the beginning of my cultivation, I started to have a problem: my hair began to fall out. Some non-practitioners claimed that I might have a renal weakness. I believed that I was a practitioner, and that it definitely would be cured. Still, I was very worried and believed that I had a problem. The problem always came to my mind even though I tried to forget about it and tried to cultivate Dafa with a pure mind. Whenever I studied the Fa and held myself to "Truthfulness, Compassion, Tolerance" requirements well, I believed that my situation would improve somewhat. I believed that I cultivated well when I felt better. When I didn't feel very well, I believed that I had too much karma in that respect. Consequently I fell badly. When I fell [in terms of requirements], I thought more about the problem. It formed a knot that I couldn't untie, and I didn't realise it. I was still studying the Fa, but the "disease" was in my mind frequently, and I was wondering when it would get better. After the persecution began in 1999, there was a time when I was persecuted by the evil and forgot about the hair loss. Amazingly, my hair began to grow back slowly. It stopped growing when the environment became better, and I began to worry about it again. Last year, I felt that my health was deteriorating, and I worried more about it. The knot was getting larger.
Recently, I suddenly noticed the attachments that I still have while studying the Fa; I realised that I wanted to cure my "illness" via studying the Fa. It was an attachment. I asked myself: Why do I practise? What is the Fa? Is the Fa to be used to cure diseases? The Fa is solemn, and it should be used to save people. The way I studied the Fa was to study the Fa with attachments. I suddenly understood the reason why I was circling around and understood why Master didn't allow people in critical condition to participate in his class. If a patient who is a non-practitioner is in a critical condition, how could he let go of the illness? Master cannot help him if he is not a practitioner and cannot let go of his illness, and the patient might put himself in danger. At the same time, I also understood why some people who were seriously sick recovered by studying the Fa. They did not think about their illness at all and forgot themselves; they were studying the Fa wholeheartedly. It's that simple, but we have to truly understand it.
In reality, there are practitioners around us who are in the "illness" state and in that particular tribulation for a long time. I felt that those practitioners should think about it deeply and ask themselves the fundamental question: Why do I practise Falun Dafa? Is my intention pure? Am I seeking anything? Even if your cultivation progresses well, you may still have fundamental attachments. Of course, the key is to study the Fa more. When we study the Fa and enter the state where there is nothing else in our minds but the Fa, then many problems will be resolved easily.
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