Why Do I Lack Compassion?

One morning after I practised the exercises, I thought about the issue I've been struggling with: Why didn’t I have enough compassion? I remembered a fellow practitioner once pointed out that when I took care of my father-in-law, I was not afraid of cleaning up human waste because I was kindhearted.

His words helped me realize that the reason I didn't have enough compassion was that I had various kinds of fear. Although I did not fear cleaning up human waste, I was afraid of being hit, pain, being cold, hunger, ageing and being unemployed. I was also afraid of being arrested and persecuted.

All of these fears are dirty human attachments. Would divine beings have so many fears? Gods have no fear, but only the heart to save sentient beings!

My non-practitioner relatives once told me that it seemed like I was actually hoping for disasters, because whenever a disaster occurred, I appeared delighted and did not display compassion at all. I denied their accusation and argued that I had not caused the disasters, but only used them to prove that I had been right all along.

My brother commented, “Even if you are right, what are you proving?” I wondered: Would a Buddha or Bodhisattva hope for disasters? Of course not, and neither would they have argued with ordinary people. Their only concern would be how to save more people before disasters came and not waste any time.

I identified another attachment. Every time Master talked about time, I thought about how I could almost see the end of the ordeal, and how all of my relatives and friends would be grateful that I was there. Now I can see how dirty and terrifying that attachment was.

Master is doing everything for us. If Master hadn't rescued me from hell, I would have been as lost as ordinary people are. How dare I take credit for heaven’s accomplishments and deeds?

I now understand that when Master talks about the urgency of time, it's so that we can quickly catch up to reach the standard for a god. We should all come out and save sentient beings. This is the difference between everyday people and gods. Master does not want us to be eliminated. Fa-rectification Dafa disciples won't get a second chance.

When I heard Master tell us that time was running out, what kind of thoughts did I have? Was I thinking about how to best use my time to save more sentient beings, or was I only thinking about myself? The old forces and the entire universe can see my thoughts clearly.

If practitioners inside and outside China all focus on doing our best to save sentient beings, we will all reach the standard, and this persecution would end soon.

I've only realized this recently. In the past, I always believed that if I was hungry, I should eat immediately, and if I was cold, I should wear more clothes. There's nothing wrong with this. I thought I'd done the three things well, and thus I felt good about myself and nurtured a human heart. I seldom tried to control it.

Now I understand that as long as I keep hanging onto my human attachments, it'll be impossible for me to have compassion. In addition, wishing for everything to end soon is also a human attachment that I must get rid of. Only when I let go of this human mindset can I develop compassion and attain a state of selflessness and altruism.

I believe that our merciful Master gave me hints to let go of my human heart because our time to cultivate is running out. Master wants every single practitioner to reach the standard. I have just become enlightened in this regard, and I am grateful for Master’s salvation.

Please allow me to show my respect to our compassionate and great Master. Heshi!

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