December 6, 2002
It was not until a few days before April 25, 1999 that I began my cultivation. It was no easy thing for me to catch up. Naturally inclined to pursue the Way, I had been very interested in things like martial arts and Qigong [Modern term for traditional cultivation practise]. Despite a tremendous investment in time, energy and effort, my kungfu skill did not improve for lack of proper guidance. Instead, I suffered from messed-up energy channels and an increasing level of aggression.
It was not until I found myself at a dead end that I began to realise the mysterious force that controls my fate. By that time, I had acquired diseases all over my body, including headaches, chest pain, lower back pain, upper respiratory pain, arthritis and frequent bouts with colds, occurring about every ten days. It was a miserable life! My favourite place at home was bed and my favourite store was the pharmacy. I had to keep three or four kinds of medicine with me all the time. I got so familiar with my Chinese herb formula's that I could tell their names by taste. My wife used to call me the "super star customer of Chinese pharmacies." You could smell the medicinal odour from my night's breathing when I opened my window in the mornings.
Among my daily medicines were those for fighting infections, reducing fever, clearing up and removing heat, sleeping pills and tonics. Another traditional technique I used was the "cupping" method [a treatment involving the application of suction to skin to draw out blood and pus]. I used it on my chest, back, waist and temples. It was quite a scene to see the big and small jars all lined up in a row. Who could take care of a patient who was ill all year-round like me? I had to do it by myself. Sometimes I ended up creating big areas of blisters on my own back and waist. There would be a burning sensation when the areas where the blisters had broken touched my clothes.
I also had a bad temper on top of all my diseases. When I was angry, I would scold my wife and spank my child, giving them a terrible time. Their feelings towards me were a mixture of hatred, fear and love. My evil temper was worse when I was sick, because I didn't have enough self control.
Deep in my heart, I used to have an unutterable desire to go back home, and often felt lonely and insecure. Lying in bed, I would think about my childhood and miss the meals of grain I had then. But my loneliness and insecurity couldn't be comforted by visiting my hometown or by talking to my wife, much less by talking to my child. He was only interested in playing. I could not find any way out. This feeling made me sad and empty, in addition to the misery of my many diseases.
How I admired those energetic people! I felt energetic for only five or six hours a day, even after I had gone to bed early and woken up late. I used to feel cold even whilst sweating. Shortly before I began practising Falun Dafa, I went to ask for help from a person with bad messages [someone who did not practise true upright teachings], out of desperation. Now looking back at this experience, I realise just how bad she was. She claimed to be a certain Buddha and bragged about how she was matchless. She also asked me to listen to her carefully because she couldn't remember what she said when treating patients. She usually didn't feel well herself after treating peoples diseases, and implied that she would like me to join her. I felt creepy, afraid and disgusted. The strange thing is that she would not feel my pulse despite my repeated requests though she did this for other people. I wondered how she could diagnose without feeling my pulse. She finally drew some magic symbols on fifteen pieces of red cloth for me. I spent 150 Yuan [About a week's salary for an average urban worker in China] for nothing.
As a matter of fact, the book 'Zhuan Falun' [The main text of Falun Gong] had been on my shelf for almost a year, but I hadn't finished reading it. I had been busy making money during that year. Out of desperation, I decided to try Qigong again. I used to think that practising Qigong exercises was the effective method. However, the person who introduced Falun Dafa to me wasn't eager to teach me the exercises. Instead, he asked me to read the book first. I put it off because there was no practice group near my home. I tried looking through the book, but couldn't find instructions on how to do breath-control or mind-concentration. I thought it wasn't something that I could teach myself, but reading the book made me feel comfortable and relaxed. Instead of reading it section by section, I skipped through to read those topics that seemed interesting or reasonable to me. I agreed with some parts of the book, couldn't understand some, and yet couldn't believe other parts. Anyway, reading the book made me feel comfortable, so I flipped through it a few pages at a time. One time, a colleague of mine mentioned that there was a Falun Gong practice group close to his home. He also showed me the "Falun Standing Stance" exercise. I tried this pose after going back home, but felt stuffy and had to put my hands down. I found the practice group one day later and started learning the exercises. My health began to improve after only a few days. I also watched a video of one of Teacher Li's lectures on the principles of Falun Gong. The energy field was so strong! I can't remember what Teacher said in that lecture, partially because I couldn't understand it, and partially because I fell asleep shortly after the Lecture started. I slept now and then until the end of the lecture. It was so comfortable! Now I know that my body was been adjusted.
I have gradually felt the benefits of Falun Dafa since then. My illness have healed and the feeling of been disease free is so great! Since then, the sad feeling of being homeless that existed in my heart is gone! Since this time, I have never sworn at my wife or spanked my child.
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