Over the past several years, I have been in the state of being "busy" in my work. In the beginning, I complained like an ordinary person; I failed to understand the issue from the perspective of the Fa. Gradually the situation was getting worse and worse. I was not only busy when I was in the office, I also often needed to receive or make phone calls even when I ate or slept. Furthermore, I often received phone calls in the middle of the night, which required me to rush to my workplace to handle some issues. This situation had severely affected my daily life, and also of course, my doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) that Dafa disciples need to do well. At that time, I realized that this was the result of evil interference. I then started to look inward and found many attachments, especially to fame and self-interest. On the surface, it appeared to be related to when I was persecuted and illegally detained at a detention centre: I had lost my past position of being a low-level supervisor in my company. Now my current manager values me highly; he has increased my wage, and let me take charge of some important projects. In this way I unknowingly walked into the trap of the old forces, by pursuing a wage increase and wanting others to call me "supervisor." I then started to work extremely hard. Because of my pursuit of more money, my busiest periods of time came when I went to my manger, and asked him to change my work position. I told him that I could play a better role in a specific position. Because this was what I had asked for, the evil exploited my attachment to fame, controlled me tightly, and constantly made me "work hard."
After I realized this point, I tried hard to let go of the attachment to fame and interest, and also sent righteous thoughts to disintegrate the evil that was interfering with me. In the meantime, I did not want to acknowledge the arrangements of the old forces. In my actions, I also tried hard to inhibit them. When it was time to get off from work, I tried to not think about my work, and did not allow the old forces to make the arrangement of having me work extra hours. At that time, my condition improved a little, but I still could not just work eight hours a day, as I still needed to work extra hours once in a while. I started to feel worried about this, and my fellow practitioners also kept reminding me that my cultivation state was still not good, as I still had no time to do the three things well.
Because I was eager to change my "busy" state, and could achieve the goal in a short time, I started to feel afraid that the fellow practitioners would still think that I was "busy." I could feel that my heart was tweaked even when fellow practitioners asked, "Are you at your workplace?" This is just like ordinary people who are afraid that someone might find out about their own private matters. I wanted to cover things up. Later, when some fellow practitioners asked me this question again, they would be able to feel, from the tone of my voice, that I was not happy. Facing such an issue, I had failed to go one step further to find the cause. Gradually I started to feel worried. Whenever my manager called me to take care of some work-related matters in my off-work hours, I would feel unhappy; my complaining could be heard in my tone of voice. As a result, I almost ran into conflicts with my manager.
After that situation lasted for a period of time, everything appeared to be normal on the surface. I also discussed with fellow practitioners my attachments that are related to work. They also praised me for having good enlightenment quality and doing well. But in fact, I had not fundamentally solved the issue. More recently, my company had a project that required me to use a part of my weekend to go to the project site. So I started to see signs again that I would be "busy." I immediately became alert and fellow practitioners also kindly reminded me of this. However, while I sent righteous thoughts and searched within myself, I felt helpless, because I did not know how to understand this issue and how to improve myself. I felt very bitter in my heart. Possibly because Master had seen my wish to improve myself (during my Fa study yesterday), when I read a paragraph of the Fa in "Teaching the Fa at the 2003 Atlanta Fa Conference" (November 29, 2003), I suddenly enlightened. I finally came to understand that, to solve my problem, I had developed a new attachment. As Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples, we should not even acknowledge the existence of the old forces. So when we face evil interference, if we just try to solve the obstacles that the evil has put there for us, we have, in fact, already acknowledged their persecution, and in this way, we will not be able to jump out of these arrangements. It is just like the case of when the old forces make a move, we make a counteractive move--is it right that we have already (at that point) acknowledged the old forces' existence? So are we still acting in the circle of their arrangements?
So how could I negate the old forces' arrangements without falling into their traps? I have realized that I should just follow what Master has said, that is, everything is included in my doing well with the three things. As long as I walk my path righteously, the locked door will be open and my path will become broad. In the meantime, I also came to understand that my previous thinking that I should work eight hours a day is also a human notion. Everything in the three realms has come for the Fa. So during the Fa-rectification period, in which everything happens for the salvation of sentient beings, the ordinary work that Dafa practitioners do is just the means or environments for their cultivation, conforming to an ordinary person's state. All this can change with the raising of our xinxing (heart and mind nature/character). We should not be bogged down by the constraints of ordinary work. We should calm down, do well what we are supposed to do, and follow Master's arrangements; Master will arrange the best for us. After a fellow practitioner lost her job because of the persecution, she kept doing the work of validating the Fa. She came to the following understanding, "Because what I have been doing is the most righteous, even when I do not have a job, even when I am at home, I still should not lack money." As expected, she achieved the state wherein she could do Dafa work while making money at home.
After I understood this, I started to feel relaxed as if a heavy load had been taken off my shoulders. I feel that I have improved a lot and I really have the feeling of "Purging evil as if but whisking dust away." ("A Will That Ebbs Not," September 18, 2005) In the meantime, I can deeply feel Master's compassionate salvation. I feel that I am bathing in the boundless Buddha's blessing. My gratitude toward Master is beyond description.
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