I am almost 60 years old. Due to the Chinese Communist Party persecution of Falun Gong, I was forced to be homeless for several years. Although I had no stable place to live, I did not forget to constantly cultivate my xinxing (heart and mind nature, character).
When I was looking for a job, someone asked me to make commercials for fake medicine. This was during the time that I most needed money just to survive, but I was not tempted and I refused. I am a cultivator and I should not cheat others. My colleagues all said that I was very foolish. Ordinary people cannot understand cultivators. During that time, I wanted to find a job where I'd have the opportunity to clarify the truth (about Falun Gong and its illegal persecution in China) to people.
In unfamiliar places, life was hard and I was in low spirits, but I was able to forbear it. However, I felt very troubled because I could not meet with fellow practitioners or obtain Master's recent articles and the "Minghui Weekly."
Due to Master's benevolent arrangement, I met a practitioner whom I came to know well when I was homeless. This practitioner said that a "truth-clarification" material production site was lacking manpower and he asked me to join. I began to work at the site to validate Dafa. Another two practitioners who worked at that site had day jobs and were very busy. Usually, I was the only one who lived at this production site. Later, Practitioner A, who was responsible for visiting Dafa websites and downloading materials, was arrested and sent to forced labour. After A's arrest, Practitioner B took up that responsibility and I was responsible for making all the materials. I found Practitioner C to help me and taught her how to make materials.
Shortly, B was arrested and sent to forced labour. We, two older women, were unable to access the Dafa websites and download the materials. Practitioner B was also in charge of the funds for purchasing materials, and after she was arrested, we had no money. What should we do? We not only had to move out of the rental house but faced the danger of being arrested. At this difficult time, we were not discouraged and did not give up.
In order for practitioners to have adequate Dafa materials to save sentient beings, we needed to continue to make them. As long as we have steadfast faith, Master will help us. Actually, on our cultivation path, Master is protecting us all the time. During this time, other practitioners brought us funds. We found a house and paid the rent to prepare to move in. That night, I had a dream. A person told me that another house was better. I said, "We've already paid the rent--what should we do?" The next day the landlord's daughter asked us for our IDs. We replied, "Since you do not believe us, please return our rent." So the landlord returned our rent money. We thus found another house quickly. This house was not expensive and the landlord provided us with old furniture. The landlord did not live there and never bothered us nor asked for our IDs.
Practitioner D came to help us access the Dafa websites and download Dafa materials. There are three of us. On occasion, Practitioner C comes to help. Usually I am the only one that stays at the site. Each day I silently make truth-clarification materials. In addition to making materials, I study the Fa and do the exercises. I never went out for entertainment or watched TV for several years. Sometimes, practitioners asked me if I felt lonely. I replied that I never felt lonely but made good use of all available time to study the Fa and do the exercises. When my mind assimilates to the Fa, I feel time is so limited--how can I find time to feel lonely?
I do things very carefully, but Practitioner C is very careless. Conflicts often occurred between us because of this. After a conflict takes place, she becomes very angry and ignores me. I looked within and found that my tone was one of complaint. I did not realize it because it had become a habit. I made up my mind to get rid of this attachment. However, when a conflict occurred and we argued, my competitive mentality surged. Later, I felt very regretful and sad. Why can I not speak to fellow practitioners calmly? Afterwards when I talked to her, I paid close attention to my tone. No matter what she did, I did not complain and we were able to get along well for some time, but eventually the conflicts between us returned. When she was in a bad mood and I spoke one word, she got annoyed. I did not speak to her for a few days. When she came to the materials site, she did not speak to me but just sat there doing Dafa work. I didn't intended to talk to her, but I saw she was beginning to make the Minghui Weekly. I told her that I had finished making the Minghui Weekly the day before. She said she had already clicked the button to print, and I said that we could cancel it. She said that she did not know how to cancel it, so I said I would do it. Actually, the Minghui Weekly was piled in an obvious place and she could see it very easily. However, she did not look and did not ask me. This time I did not complain to her ,and we did not have a conflict.
At times, I felt very upset since I did things very carefully and maybe it was for this reason that there were conflicts. It was not clear to me that I should not insist on my reasoning but to take a step back in a conflict so I could find that the seas and the skies are boundless. During the past few years, conflicts have often occurred between us. Sometimes the conflicts were peacefully resolved, at other times it was very tough, but they have never affected our providing truth-clarification materials for our local region.
The Fa- rectification in the cosmos has reached its final stage, but I still have many deficiencies and have not gotten rid of my attachments. In the future, I must meet Master's requirements to do the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) well, strengthen my Fa study, and look within to find my deficiencies. No matter what I am faced with, I will cultivate steadfastly to the end. I have a lot to say, but even thousands of words cannot express my gratitude to Master.
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