When I did the exercises this morning, suddenly my thoughts poured out like a spring. I did not concentrate as I practiced, and this is where I need to improve. Many problems in my cultivation became clear in my mind.
When I came across conflicts and problems, I would look inward, but it was only limited to the surface or I regarded all mistakes as belonging to others.
Several fellow practitioners and I have been studying the Fa at Practitioner A's home for a long time. One of the practitioners felt guilty about this--a human mentality--and brought some napkins to Practitioner A. A said bluntly, "I do not need these things. Take them back!" At the time I felt that A overreacted. The other day another practitioner brought some plastic bags to A because they are often needed. A again had an intense reaction: "Do not bring me these garbage bags! I have the necessary things here!" So this practitioner was embarrassed.
I thought then that I would not have been so abrupt and ungracious, that others' feelings have to be considered. I also thought that my character could be described as gentle and easygoing and that I get along well with others, so my cultivation in this respect was quite good. I recalled that I often reciprocated a kindness, be it with ordinary people or fellow practitioners, and I felt good about that. I thought that I understood courtesy.
In ancient times people said, "A man of honour returns the favour for as little as water." As a cultivator, I felt good about this, so there must be something I needed to cultivate inside.
When I looked inside, I found an attachment: I like to get things, to acquire things. Isn't that a heart of seeking self-interest? Isn't it a dirty, selfish heart? I thought I could put down self interests calmly, because when I faced tribulations, I did not care for positions and titles. I could pay out tens of thousands of yuan for Dafa. But in the depths of my soul, the attachment still existed and had just become very hidden, very natural, very customary. At present, with the deviation of society and under the influence of the CCP (Chinese communist party) Party culture, the custom of feasting and giving presents deluges us. Isn't the purpose of giving presents to satisfy others' desires to pursue profit? But I, too, like to acquire, I like to gain. Isn't this a heart dipped in sentiment? I should dig out this heart and remove it! I felt the sublimeness of life and the happiness of cultivation when I identified this attachment.
When these things happened, at first I thought that I cultivated better than A on this issue. However, when I looked inside, I saw that A cultivated better than I did on this issue, because she did not have this desire. It was a little unexpected.
Of course, we must cultivate in accordance with the status of ordinary society as much as possible. We should be responsible to Dafa in whatever we do and harmonize the Fa in ordinary human society while cultivating our hearts. Whatever we do, we should be solid and rational and without zealotry.
Whenever I feel the great burden that Master bears, I burst into tears. My heart is full of unlimited gratitude to Master!
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