Master emphasizes looking inward during almost every Fa lecture. In the "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners," Master spoke numerous times about looking inward with sincere words and earnest wishes. I am going to talk about how I came to understand the true essence of looking inward during tribulations.
Like many fellow practitioners, I used to count how many attachments I had, and considered that looking inward. Was that really cultivation? Absolutely not! It is just like asking Master: "Look, I found so many attachments, help me eliminate them." How can sitting there and counting my attachments count as cultivation?
Master says in Zhuan Falun:
"Accordingly, in your future cultivation practice you will run into all kinds of tribulations. How can you practice cultivation without these hardships? If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interests or interference from the human mind, how can your xinxing (heart and mind character) make progress by your only sitting there? That is impossible. One must truly temper and upgrade oneself through actual practice."
"But normally when a problem arises, if it does not irritate a person psychologically, it does not count or is useless and cannot make him or her improve."
Over the years, I had been stumbling along, weighed down by huge tribulations; I was a fragile person. If I were not cultivating, any of the tribulations I encountered could have ended my life. But now I am not afraid of anything, I have this firm thought: "I have Master, I have the Fa, what do I have to be afraid of?" I knew the tribulations were there to help me elevate, but I did not enlighten to it. I did not even know how to truly cultivate myself and elevate my xinxing. During the tribulation, I should have viewed it as a good environment for me to elevate, but instead I blamed God and man, and thought: "Why do others have favourable winds in their sails, yet I have to struggle?" (I felt enormous pressure from all fronts: financial, mental and physical.) Even though I still talked about looking inward, how could I do it with such resentment deep in my heart?
During a recent tribulation, I suddenly realized that the resentment was like a brick wall blocking my path; if I did not overcome it, I could never elevate. How could I contend with ordinary people? I decided to eliminate this resentment and forgive them from deep in my heart, and to thank them for helping me eliminate the karma that has been accumulating for lifetimes, and for helping me elevate my xinxing and giving me de. When I truly eliminated this resentment, I met that person the next day. I peacefully said hello and made small talk. I felt so light. It was just like what Master said: the tribulation is nothing, but at the time it felt like a matter of life and death (paraphrase).
After several days, the tribulation returned. I felt the enormous pressure again, and I looked inward again. I wondered what kind of attachment brought this on? I remembered what Master said once: "If you cannot love your enemy, then you cannot reach Consummation." (Teaching the Fa at the Fa conference in Australia) I examined myself: "Did I really put down resentment from deep in my heart? Could I 'love' my enemy?" When I discussed this with fellow practitioners, I would still talk about evil being recompensed with evil. I still had resentment. It was harder to detect, but my attachment was still there.
I dug deeper, and thought about when this person created the huge tribulation, how much de (virtue) he had lost, how much karma he created, and what would be there waiting for him, how pitiful! He helped me understand the Fa, and elevate through tribulation, so I should thank him and have mercy on him. My resentment was finally replaced with compassion. I truly felt elevated.
I am deeply grateful for the treasure that Master has given us. I regret that it took me so many years to finally enlighten to the essence of looking inward. I thought about the cultivators of the past: Because they did not obtain the true Fa, it took them several lifetimes of painstaking effort to achieve Consummation. Master let us reach Consummation during this lifetime; it is our Dafa practitioners' immense fortune! I will forever remember the "magic tool," looking inward, to truly elevate.
This is my understanding, please kindly point out shortcomings.
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