In the article "It is Important to Find Human Attachments" (http://www.clearwisdom.net/emh/articles/2008/11/2/101933.html), a fellow practitioner described a phenomenon where one could not correctly identify his or her attachments. This also happens to practitioners around me. Some have been doing the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) but still suffer sickness karma. I know; I am one of them. When faced with old force interference, I searched inward and was able to identify eight to ten attachments every time. When I sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate these attachments, it seemed to have very little effect and I felt helpless about it until something happened this spring that finally helped me realize the importance of correctly identifying attachments.
During a group Fa-study, everyone took turns reading "Teaching the Fa at the Discussion on Creating Fine Art." An older practitioner was having trouble reading it, and it was difficult for me to hear him. I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on what he was saying but still could not make any sense of it. Looking at other practitioners, some half closed their eyes, and some were frowning. So I said to this practitioner, "Well, this lecture is not easy to read. How about you let others read first?" He agreed. I thought for a moment and did not think I had any attachment.
That night, I suddenly had a headache and a toothache. Why? I remembered that I didn't take a nap that day, and so I went to bed early. The next day, things did not get better, as all of my teeth were hurting. I calmed down and started to do the sitting meditation. I searched inward and found the same attachments I had found before. I sent forth righteous thoughts, but still my teeth hurt.
I discussed my situation with a practitioner, who asked me, "Have you looked inward?" I told her about what had happened the day before. She said, "You didn't let the elderly practitioner read the Fa. You have the mentality of showing off." I immediately denied it. She said, "Your mentality of showing off is so strong that it has become second nature to you. You don't even realize it." I continued to deny it. She then said, "Let's put it this way. Would you like it if he had told you not to read?" I couldn't say a word, but I had to agree with her. She said, "Because you read better than he does, you told him not to read. That's your show off mentality. When we see other practitioners' shortcomings, what should we do?" I replied, "Quietly help them." I knew the Fa, but wasn't able to act in accordance with the Fa.
"Did you think of helping him? I don't think so. You were thinking how he was wasting your time. If others read, they could read faster and that meant you could study more. That is selfish." This was exactly what I was thinking as she was explaining this to me. I was speechless, and felt as if my heart was being cut out. The practitioner also told me, "If this is your attachment, you will see the effect after you send forth righteous thoughts." I went home and sent forth righteous thoughts, and my head and teeth stopped hurting. I would like thank this practitioner for her help. She taught me how to look inward.
After that, when I was being interfered with, I was able to find the correct attachment and eliminate it with righteous thoughts. However, there was a large attachment that I had dismissed for a long time.
Last year, when I returned from visiting another town, I noticed my leg was hurting. I recently returned there and a practitioner asked me, "Why don't you stay here and set up a materials site?" I had a strong fear of working at a materials site, so to cover up my attachment, I told him that my eyes were not good. I also said that even if I were to stay, I wouldn't be able to set up a materials site.
Later, in a dream, this practitioner pointed ahead and said to me, "Take three or four people and cut the grass over there. Have you cut grass before? Do you know how?" I looked in the direction he was pointing. There wasn't any grass, only small trees that stood about the height of a person. Each branch was about as thick as a finger and had thorns on it. I said, "I have never cut it, and don't know how." As I was saying that, I wanted to turn around and walk away. When I awoke I knew that Teacher had given me a hint. It was clear to me that "cutting grass" was the same as setting up a materials site. What did it mean? I thought that the sickle used to cut grass was big and sharp and that it only cut bad things. Did grass symbolize my attachment? As a cultivator, I need to get rid of my attachments. I remembered that when I came to this town last year, the practitioner asked me to stay then, too. I declined. Had the grass grown to become the tree with branches to reflect how my attachment had grown? In my dream, I didn't want to cut the grass when the practitioner asked me. Wasn't that a reflection of my xinxing (character, attachments) towards setting up a materials site? When I thought about it, I realized that I must send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate my attachment to fear. Then I suddenly felt my heart become clear, and there was a wonderful feeling that I couldn't describe in words. "Cultivation depends on one's own efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one's master." (Zhuan Falun) I knew that when I found the correct human attachment, Teacher saw it and took away the bad things in my body. Teacher takes care of me.
When I look back at my cultivation, I was often interfered with because I had many attachments. When I couldn't identify the correct attachment, the result of my sending forth righteous thoughts was limited, and I was puzzled by it. Now I have finally learned how to search inward. I told Teacher, "Master, I thought I was really a Dafa disciple, but I didn't know how to cultivate or how to search inward. I have had a lot of ups and downs in my cultivation, but now I understand that when we search inward we need to target specifically our attachments, even the ones that are hidden deep inside." When we are able to eliminate attachments without fear, Teacher will help us eliminate all interference.
I will carefully search inward and find the right attachments in the future, do well in the "three things", and walk the last leg of my cultivation well.
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