Early this September I changed jobs. My new job gives me a great deal of freedom. I have my own office and get a free lunch. It took only a few weeks to expose many of my human attachments. I thought it would be beneficial for fellow practitioners to hear some of my experiences.
Helping People Learn the Truth about Falun Gong and the Persecution
As I got acquainted with some of my new colleagues, I was thinking about how I should clarify the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution to them. Several days later I noticed that there was a computer for public use in the area. During break, I checked my e-mail. One colleague was curious and watched me. I had received an e-mail from a stranger. Usually I do not open such e-mails, but that day I opened it without another thought. It was a truth-clarifying letter on the issue of Falun Gong. I read the mail aloud so that she could hear. She said, "One gets such news often lately. Is there also news about it on the Internet?" I asked her, "Are you a member of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), Youth League or Young Pioneers? Have you quit these organizations?" She said that she used to be a Young Pioneer, but she hadn't quit yet. I said, "These Party organizations don't believe in heavenly beings. These days there are so many natural disasters. Who can protect us? Ordinary people? But if you quit the CCP and its related organizations, the heavenly beings will protect you. It's a good thing to quit. Why not do it?" She agreed. I was so happy for her and happy for Teacher's arrangement. I also want to thank overseas fellow practitioners. I will keep this letter so that I can use it in the future when I explain the truth about Falun Gong to others.
At the end of my workday, a fellow practitioner visited me, and I told her about what had happened. I was actually showing off. She didn't say a word, but that evening, I stretched my arm and hurt it. I was in quite a bit of pain and it took a month to recover. Today, I finally realized that this happened because my heart was not pure and the evil took advantage of it. The minute I realized it, I immediately eliminated this loophole. I will not let the evil succeed. After I sent righteous thoughts, my arm still hurt. I said to myself, "It's not enough to negate the evil with my thoughts, I also have to act accordingly." Even though it hurt I could raise it. After raising it three times, it hurt much less. I stopped thinking about it and continued doing whatever I should do. After a while, all the pain was gone. I felt very bad. I thought to myself, "There were many times when I showed off. I have behaved like this over and over again. I recognized my mistakes, corrected them, and then made the same mistakes again. There always was an opportunity for the evil to attack me and I brought trouble to Teacher."
Living by the Fa Principles
Lunch hour starts at noon. It's the time when practitioners throughout the world send righteous thoughts. During the first two days, I excused myself and went to lunch after sending righteous thoughts. I thought that I had to find a way to handle this in the long run. Though we can send righteous thoughts even when eating and walking, I prefer to sit quietly when sending righteous thoughts. I felt that the effect was different. While I still was in a quandary, our boss gave every employee a lunch box and told us that we could bring our lunch back to the workshop. That was wonderful.
When I got my lunch, at times I asked for more. It's not possible to return leftovers, and it's a pity to throw them away, so I took them home and thought, "Great, now, I also have dinner. I'll ask for more tomorrow." Immediately, Teacher's words about "loss and gain" came to my mind. I felt so ashamed that I still held such bad thoughts.
Still Poisoned by the CCP (chinese communist party) Culture
One day during the break I was studying the Fa (Law and principles; the teachings of Falun Dafa) Someone came and stood in front of me without my noticing it. I got scared. Then I thought delightedly, "I was studying the Fa so diligently that I didn't notice someone had walked in." But later, when I recalled the incident, I thought that my elation was wrong. I thought, "Why was I scared at that moment? What was I scared of? Would there have been any bad consequences if he had realized that I was studying a Falun Gong book? It's not that I was doing something wrong. Why shouldn't I be open and aboveboard when studying the Fa?" Teacher has also told us to validate the Fa rationally. I realized that my heart was not pure. When I looked within, I found that there were still traces of the poison of CCP culture within me. Also, there was selfishness, fear, and the attachment to protecting myself.
Being in an Environment Overshadowed by CCP Culture
The new work environment helps me discover many of my very strong attachments. I discovered that if I agree with something, I will be happy and listen. When I hear something that I feel is wrong, I will feel rather uncomfortable. Because of the influence of the CCP culture, some people are very jealous and competitive. When they talk, their words are like gunpowder. Though I would not treat anyone the way they do, I feel rather uncomfortable at such times. I actually want to stay aloof from such people. When I read Teacher's Fa on "wandering about" in Zhuan Falun about correctly positioning our relationship with ordinary people, guarding our character, and constantly improving our character, I thought, "Practitioners are wandering in human society. The people I meet are giving me an opportunity to improve my character. Sentimentalities such as dislike or disapproval is normal in human society. I should treat others nicely but be strict with myself." After I changed my attitude, I no longer felt uncomfortable, no matter what I was exposed to. Ordinary people's business no longer bothers me.
"During your cultivation practice, I will use every means to expose all of your attachments and dig them out at their roots." ("Digging Out the Roots", Essentials for Further Advancement)
I feel that it is important to study the Fa diligently, cultivate our thoughts, and do the three things with a pure heart.
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