In China, if an adult isn't married or does not want to get married by his or her 30s, people will find it hard to understand. I know some practitioners in their 30s that are still single, including myself. This has caused a false impression among some everyday people that practitioners do not get married and have families.
I began to practice Dafa in 1996 when I was a college student. Right after I graduated from college, the persecution of Dafa began. I was "illegally imprisoned" for more than four years, so I have had little opportunity to be in contact with everyday people or to find someone to marry, let alone engage in any sexual activity. I live a simple life and steadily do the three things that a Dafa practitioner is supposed to do. It feels good to live like this.
Then why do I raise this issue of handling the single life in ordinary society? It is because many of my family members thought I was strange. I am the only son in my family. From their standpoint, I will fail to fulfill my filial duty to my parents unless I get married. There is an old Chinese expression that says three acts are considered unfilial and having no descendant is the worst. They used to complain that I was not considerate of my parents. As everyday people, my aunts not only found me hard to understand, but were also angry with me. My father said he thought there was nothing meaningful to live for. Because so many others had grandchildren, he did not want to be without. I was therefore faced with a serious conflict.
I do know other practitioners who have not married. Some of them live in families where everyone cultivates Dafa and so they are understood. Some of them avoid marriage because they have painful memories from before. For me, I basically never had any opportunities to get to know anyone of the opposite sex.
Thus, the only choice I have is to act according to the Fa that Teacher teaches us. We are creating the future. The people of the future will form families, so it's all right for us to have our own families. However, the future people's moral standard must comply to that of the new universe. One of the requirements is never to engage in any sexual activity before marriage, so we should be a role model in this regard. This then raises the issue of the purity of the person that a Dafa practitioner marries--I feel it ahould be a person with no sexual history before marriage. So I answered my parents this way. I told them that I agreed to get married. However, I can only marry a pure girl. Interestingly, the situation changed and my family no longer pushes me about marriage. Although they think I am too old-fashioned, in some ways they admire me for this. When we follow Teacher's Fa, immediately the problem is resolved.
Of course I know that some single practitioners have made mistakes in this regard. I feel very sorry for them. In fact, ancient Chinese people said, "Life or death is not a big issue. Losing one's integrity is the big issue." I believe integrity not only means one's character, but also one's morality and conduct in society.
When we diligently cultivate the Fa we often dont have time to consider these issues. However, we are cultivating among everyday people. This is the most difficult thing. We have to face everyday people, and sometimes it's hard to avoid their notions. Just like Master said in Zhuan Falun: "That's what's convenient about it. Our discipline is the most convenient, you can cultivate among ordinary people and you don't need to become a monk or nun. But that's also what's hard about it--you cultivate among ordinary people, the most complicated environment." Compared with cultivation in the olden times, I feel this is indeed the most difficult. However, Master also said, "It turns out, though, that's also what's good about it, because it allows the real you to get gong. That's what's key in our discipline, and today I've spelled it out for you."
Indeed, we must do well in this critical matter.
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