"Mom, I Miss You So Much, But You Should Never Write A 'Repentance Letter' For My Sake."

Written by Chen Si, a practitioner from Mainland China


In 1999, because I had refused to write a "guarantee letter" affirming that I would not go to Beijing to appeal, the police detained me for my third time in jail, and they were going to sentence me to a labour camp. I was really missing my daughter and silently shedding tears. My fluctuating emotions made me uneasy, and I began to pace back and forth.


After returning home, I learned that on the night that I was arrested, my daughter had cried all night long. […]

There is another small practitioner in the same grade as my daughter. [While I was in detention] He secretly told her, "[…]If you miss your mom, you should write her a letter."

My daughter then wrote me a letter:

"Mom, I miss you so much. Everybody else has their mom, but not me. I was very sad, but you should never write a 'repentance letter' for my sake because that will make me feel even sadder. I had a dream last night. In the dream, Teacher Li was sitting on a lotus. You and I are riding on white horses on each side of Teacher, who led us to a place that is so pure that nowhere else can compare. There were peacocks, flying up in the air..."

It has been a while, and I can't remember the entire content of my daughter's letter, but I kept the letter at home. My whole family went to Beijing to appeal again, which led to my daughter and I becoming homeless. My husband was arrested and, after a year, began stop practicing. When he returned home, he saw our daughter's letter on the faded paper. The crooked handwriting and the stains from my daughter's tears touched him deeply. As he held the letter close to his heart late at night, he became aware of his deeply guilty conscience and gradually woke up. […]

I felt that the letter flowed from her true innermost feelings, it really moved her dad. […]

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