When I read what practitioners have written about selfishness on the Clearwisdom website, I can't help but ask myself: Have I devoted myself completely when validating the Fa*? In looking inward, I found that I really needed to dig out my attachments at their roots. *[(fah)—law and principles in the Buddha School]
I recalled this story about a poor elderly woman: One day, Sakyamuni was to give a Fa lecture. Many believers had brought oil for lighting the lamps at night. This poor woman had heard about the lecture and she had only a penny with her. The vendor refused to sell her oil for such a small amount of money and so the woman then offered to trade her jacket for the oil; but the vendor still refused. She then cut a lock of her hair in exchange for the oil. Reluctantly, the seller gave her a small amount of oil and told her that eating oil wouldn't fill her stomach and she would still be hungry. She told the man, "I'll be alright. I am fortunate to be born at the same time as Sakyamuni and bringing this oil is my small way of honoring him."
As Sakyamuni was about to give the Fa lecture in the hall, the old woman lit her oil lamp and sat down to listen. A sorcerer came to disrupt the event and used his might to extinguish all of the lamps. Suddenly, the wind blew fiercely, kicking up sand and pebbles. Sakyamuni continued to lecture, but the believers were frightened. The old woman knelt down and prayed silently. All the lanterns were extinguished except one -- the old woman's lamp was still shining brightly. The sorcerer knew he couldn't get his way and left. Although the old woman was destitute, her righteous mind was pure and without selfishness.
Today, Falun Dafa is being spread around the world to save sentient beings. Many practitioners in Mainland China find work to make some money; after they pay for the bare necessities of living, there is not much left. They live frugally to save money and pay for the materials for making Dafa banners, printing fact sheets about Dafa, and to validate Dafa. They are truly melted into the Fa. Their righteous minds and actions, and their inspiring feats are enough to frighten the evil.
My wife and child also practice Falun Dafa. Compared with our fellow practitioners, our income is quite good. However, our tendency is still to put more money into our savings and use less money for validating Dafa. We hope to lead a comfortable lifestyle and to cultivate Dafa at the same time. We address the solemn responsibility of Dafa practitioners with the mentality of ordinary people. This is like wanting to become enlightened without letting go of our attachments. Of course we should do our best in the ordinary human society without going to the extreme. However, the basis of this mindset is selfishness. All kinds of selfish thoughts corrode my righteous beliefs; they stop me from letting go of sentimentality towards my family, and prevent me from being compassionate. Doesn't this basically show that I don't firmly believe in Dafa? Isn't this not letting go of the attachment of life and death?
To be a Dafa practitioner during the Fa rectification period is both honorable and magnificent. I ponder these thoughts: "Have I reached Dafa's standards? Can I face our Teacher without shame? Can I face the countless sentient beings who are looking forward to being saved, without regret?" I can't be insensitive any longer; I mustn't disappoint Teacher's compassionate efforts to save us. From now on, I need to be strict with myself, to truly purify myself, and to melt into the Fa with my words, my deeds, and my thoughts.
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