First, I would like to share the hint that I got. It has been two years since I have cultivated earnestly.
During the first weeks, after I decided to step on the Falun Dafa cultivation path, I was awakened one night. The sick child in the adjoining room screamed it's head off and it just did not stop. I became increasingly more annoyed, wondered why the mother of this child did not take care of it, and questioned how come it had so much energy to scream like that despite its illness. I moved around in my bed, was wide-awake and got increasingly more annoyed.
At some point it dawned on me, “Oh my, it said in Zhuan Falun that a practitioner should not get angry, but practice forbearance.” This thought helped me to gradually let go of my anger. Then I had another thought, “A practitioner should thank those that create such an aggravating situation, as they provide the opportunity to raise one’s xinxing. Thus, I thanked the child for providing this situation.
This line of thought was completely new for me and somehow I was not sure if that was right. Thus I asked in my mind, “Master, give me a hint if this is a sign for me to improve on my cultivation path.” Immediately after this thought, there was some kind of inner response in the form of a question, “What kind of sign?” I answered, “It does not have to be anything extraordinary, just something that addresses my need.” In response to this thought I felt a tremendous energy flow running though my body, and it felt that my entire body was covered with goose bumps. I cannot remember ever having felt something as intensive and strong. It was as if every cell in my body told me, “Yes, this is how it is.” This immediately made it clear to me that I had received the sign I asked for. I felt well throughout my body, went back to sleep, although the child in the adjacent room kept screaming with short interruptions.
My Understanding of Compassionately Saving Sentient Beings
After I moved to Hamburg at the beginning of 2016, I first looked for a group of practitioners and then joined their truth-clarification activities. When outside the Chinese Consulate it immediately became clear to me that their vigil was completely different from the usual vigils I experienced, although it did not appear to be any different. Even if only two of us were present, I felt when doing the exercises and sending righteous thoughts very strong energy. Besides, the honking by passing cars was a clear indication that this is an activity for which sentient beings are given the opportunity and the chance to live in the future.
Until recently, I was mainly involved in the information booth activities and put any other obligation on the back burner. This activity provided me with even stronger feelings concerning our outreach. I was there from the set-up to the taking down of the booth and never worried about taking a break. Every time, when taking a sip of water or a bite from my sandwich I was filled with the need to immediately distribute fliers again, and to tell people about Dafa and its persecution. I had no real desire to do the exercises, as I felt that a sentient being might miss his or her predestined chance to live in the future. During that time I was always filled with a marvellous feeling of joy. Thus, I could smile at the passers-by most of the time. Sometimes, my desires and the joy to clarify the truth to people was so strong that almost all passers-by accepted a flier and I could to talk to many people about Dafa.
However, I experienced negative factors and thoughts at times, which tried to drag me down. Yet, during this phase, sending righteous thoughts helped eliminate these factors rather quickly. Besides, I got to understand the Fa taught by Master – in my words – that an orthodox practice could subdue a hundred heretical practices.
Most of the time, my strongest motivation and confirmation of my commitment to the information booth happened after I clarified the truth to people. People often said that they were impressed at our dedication to do this activity. It appeared to me often that their clear side understood how important this activity was at that particular moment and thanked me from deep within their heart.
Once in a while my body experienced a sign that the sentient beings were saved. I experienced this situation when during our discussion, when saying our goodbyes, or when shaking hands, a strong energy current passed through my body and all my cells vibrated. Such experiences motivated me then and still motivate me now to clarify the truth about Dafa, and the facts about the persecution.
Meanwhile, my understanding about the information booth activities changed. For example, I now understand that I can also clarify the truth by doing the exercises. This shows to Chinese tourists that there are Western practitioners of different ages. Not only that, but watching the exercises can be beneficial to Western passers-by if I keep, when doing the exercises, the thought that I'm doing the exercises for the benefit of passers-by, and that they will benefit from the positive field. Besides, this helps to calm me down. Also, the people will experience reduced stress, and at the same time are exposed to the Dafa characteristics. By this I mean that they can feel the benefits they derive from Dafa.
At one time, passers-by stopped in front of us when we were doing the second exercise, and one of them said, “They really are in a deep seated quietude.” They were truly impressed that the hectic and noisy surroundings, and many people, did not prevent us from achieving tranquillity.
Most recently, my feelings and my understanding of information booth activities have changed quite a bit, when it comes to the above mentioned. I no longer have the feeling of joy at all times. When starting out with these activities, I always seemed to be pushed to do something else that was of greater importance.
This reminds me of the project that was launched recently. It is the “You Tube Channel” project, meant to reach as many people as possible. It uses up a lot of time.
Besides, the joy and the wish to clarify the truth about Dafa at the booth will appear after the first discussion with people. Nevertheless, I have conflicting thoughts – should I go and work on the new project, or is there something that keeps me at the information booth? At times I feel a discord within me because I want to be involved in both projects. For that it is often difficult for me to go to the information booth, or to leave the booth when closing up for the day.
Awakening Memories I Had Searched for my Entire Life
Reading in mid-January 2016 on the recommendation of a fellow practitioner, Touring North America to Teach the Fa, (from 2002), I was reminded of a situation that I experienced in a prior life.
I found myself in a cosmic space with walls, yet still confined in a specific space. There, I talked with a sentient being about my present life and associated arrangements.
I arrived in that cosmic space too late to be assigned to a life I had chosen. I wanted to be born in the country in which the Fa spreading would originate. I was certain that there were many opportunities in that country. But, I was too late as all assignments for China were given out. I was worried that I would not understand the deep connotations of the Fa in a different language and in a country that was far from where I wanted to be. However, I was told that there would be absolutely no problem. Anyway, I could always learn the language used during the introduction of Dafa into the world. To be honest, I still remember that I thought the Western writing, when compared to the Chinese characters, was inaesthetic and slipshod.
Then, a list of already arranged lives passed by my eyes. With the recommendation of this being that accompanied me at the time, and who felt that the arrangement “looks quite good,” we agreed on the present arrangement – which is my present life.
Nevertheless, I was not really happy with the selection, i.e., the arrangement by that being. But, there was no better prospect.
We discussed the circumstance of this specific arrangement, that is, which basic conditions would be prepared for me and what traits would be given to me. We also discussed in more detail some of the stages in my life.
Given the prospects of my life that were provided by my family, it showed me that it would take at least 20, if not 25 years for me to obtain the Fa and begin to cultivate. I wanted to negotiate the best opportunities and asked if I could be born into a practitioner’s family. However, I had arrived too late for that. If I didn't accept the arrangement, it was not possible for me to cultivate in this particular phase of Dafa’s spreading, something which was of great importance to me.
I worried about the way I would be introduced to the Fa. I was told that I would learn about the Fa by a circle of friends and that this was a great and beneficial arrangement. However, I held the thought that there was a risk that those that would help me gain the Fa would not be given the Fa. I was told not to worry about that – everything would be fine. However, I found out that I had to recognize the Fa for what it was.
We also looked at the arrangement made for earning my livelihood. It was of importance that I had no financial difficulties, meaning that I could devote all my time to my cultivation. Besides, I did not want to earn too much money, as this could be detrimental to my cultivation fundamentals – meaning that material advantages could be of a disadvantage to my cultivation. It should be just enough to provide a decent living and that I would not have to worry about earning my livelihood.
When we reached those agreements, we came to the issues such as enlightenment ability and attachments. As for attachments, I took away some thick substance that existed in my memories. I gained these abilities just for eliminating attachments and for the improvement of my cultivation.
I got some substances and used them to weaken my attachments. However, it was not as easy as I expected, as when one attachment was taken away, another one could be strengthened at the same time. That meant it was impossible to reduce all my attachments without strengthening this particular attachment. The result would be my cultivation would be far too easy, and thus was of no value to my cultivation.
I was rather confident that I could let go of this particular strong attachment without any problem. I was told not to underestimate this issue. Today, it is clear to me what this all meant.
When it comes to certain times in my life, I experienced some situations since January 2016. They were meant to remind me of attachments. It had to do with passing an examination or the meeting of a particular person. I will try to explain it.
When taking a seminar, arranged by my work place, I thought that the lecturer did not do well in his presentation. I was certain that I could have done much better after having done some preparation before giving the lecture. Especially the lecture could have been more informal and relaxed. This made me decide that I would give seminars after a few years in my job – and definitely much better.
When fantasizing about this, I realized for the first time in my cultivation that I had a strong ego. I also found that I was a fighter, craved recognition, was arrogant and had a show off mentality. I became clear in my mind, “I'm a practitioner and I don't want to think like that. These are things that I have to and must give up.” Subsequent to that I remembered the previously mentioned situation concerning this attachment and that I had already seen it before. I was quite clear on that. This was rather important at that moment. If I had not recognized it at the time, I would have taken quite a while finding this attachment another time.
During my first meeting with another practitioner when in a particular situation, I suddenly was reminded of something about him. This unremarkable, calm and unimposing practitioner was a great king. I even could remember his charming and powerful figure.
When he gave me a suggestion during the fifth exercise I realized that I had selected which suggestion I would receive during my cultivation. There were different kinds of suggestions for me to choose from. But, I could not just willy-nilly choose any one. If I remember correctly, every suggestion I chose would reduce the assigned quota. I thought that it would be beneficial to remember as many occurrences as possible, which would help me to remain steadfast. For this, I put great value on what I could remember. However, I was told that I should not take only memories under consideration. Today, I can understand this quite well and am grateful for other suggestions. There are also times when my memory becomes foggy and sometime the memories have disappeared. Then, these memories come back and become quite clear. However, it’s difficult to put these memories in a certain order, so I could record them. I believe that they are time dependent.
At times, the memories return regarding certain aptitudes, especially when they are needed. Somehow, I was not happy about that. If I remember correctly, the appearance of such arrangements happens for a reason. They won't appear if the conditions are not ripe, so we can complete a task assigned to us.
When another memory appeared. Master says about the issue of pursuit: “The Buddha School believes in predestined relationship. Everyone comes here because of a predestined relationship. If you obtain it, perhaps you are supposed to have it. You should therefore treasure it and not be attached to any pursuit.” (Zhuan Falun, Lecture Two)
Whenever something happens other memories come to the forefront. Thus, I know, that this particular issue happened just as it was ordained and arranged. This is an important reminder for me and tells me that the preordained situation has come to pass, just as it was arranged. This tells me the importance that we do our tasks well, because only then can we complete the arrangement well, just as it had been arranged.
Before I practised Dafa, I asked myself when meditating, “What do I want?” After I posed the question over and over again, I got the following answer, “I want to do good and help humans.” At that time I understood this superficially. For example, such things as opening the door come to mind. I believed that good deeds would result in a thank you. Today, I know the significance of the answer I received when meditating.
Whenever I faced something difficult in my cultivation, which brought me close to quitting my cultivation, I had two basic thoughts that kept me steadfast, “I know that I have chosen and wanted this live, inclusive all difficulties and inconveniences. Because of that I get the chance to truly do good and help people.”
Before closing I want to share Master's Fa:
The vows of Gods are being fulfilled;
This is what you have been searching for;
The Fa is right in front of you.
(“Inscription for the Russian Version of Falun Dafa” from Essential for Further Advancement II
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