Revered Master, dear fellow practitioners.
I would like to share with you about one attachment, which causes me to depart from the righteous Way from time to time. Fortunately, I've recognized this attachment already, although it's still not fully abandoned. It is an attachment to result and it is a consequence of other, more deeply hidden attachments.
Before I started cultivation in Dafa, I used to be a convinced atheist. My surroundings were full of materialism and I graduated in logistics at university. During the years in these circumstances I was full of materialistic opinions and my points of view were focused on quantifications. It was indeed as our Master states in Zhuan Falun (About the third eye part): “Nowadays some people think that this pair of eyes can see all matter, or all material things in our world. So some people have formed a rigid concept, and think that only the things they see through their eyes are tangible and real, and they don’t believe in what they don’t see.”
So “naturally” I was oriented to achieve results in my activities. As Dafa disciples in a Fa rectification period we have a mission – to help Master in saving sentient beings – so we are trying to participate in truth clarification activities and to create a healthy environment between practitioners. In these settings, the attachment to result sometimes causes me to digress from the righteous way, into the way of pursuing, and makes me deviate from the Fa, forgetting higher principles. I'd like to talk about such cases, and discuss their roots and consequences.
Coordinating an exercise site and Fa-study group
When I started practising, I lived in Brno. Some time later, a part of the veteran practitioners, including a coordinator of the exercise site, moved to other areas. Circumstances and enthusiasm lead me to taking up the coordination of the exercise site. At the beginning I was quite righteous. As time went by, I took more and more responsibilities, which put me under more pressure. As soon as I slackened in my Fa study or didn't focus, I started to think about things such as: „Today only a few people came; that one hasn't come again?“ I think it's great if we manage to form a large group and we strengthen our field with righteous energy. But my mind, when it wasn't on the Fa, focused only on this goal and this created obstacles. I was blaming others, even if only in my mind, and this caused obstacles and pressure for them in other dimensions. After some time I handed the coordination position to a fellow practitioner.
When I look deeper into the roots of this “attachment to result” in this case, I can see two other attachments. One is validating oneself – because I was always strict with myself in cultivation, I expected the same from others. And the second one is fear – I was afraid that if practitioners don't take part in our activities regularly, they might drop in levels or even leave the cultivation.
Taking part in Shen Yun project
I had the honour to take part in the preparations for the Shen Yun performances in our country several times. In 2014 I was appointed to be a coordinator in Brno. I always put my whole heart into Shen Yun. In His lecture “Dafa Disciples Must Study the Fa - Fa Teaching Given at the 2011 Washington DC Metro Area Fa Conference”, Master said: “Those who were originally meant to have been saved last year [by Shen Yun, but didn’t go], have lost the opportunity forever. That’s because Fa-rectification is unceasingly forging ahead, step by step, and when it arrives at one cosmic plane it is time for that level of people; when it reaches a certain heavenly kingdom above, or a certain layer of cosmic body, it is time for that group of people to come see [the show], and next time around [when Shen Yun performs], that seat will belong to someone else. Do you realize how many lives have been lost?! Do you know how I feel when I see those empty seats in the theatre?”
I tried to think about those beings and not letting down our Master. As the performance was coming near and we weren't as successful in our sales as we expected, I worked on our activities more and more and my mind was also more and more preoccupied with these things. This caused that I couldn't focus when I was studying the Fa and doing FZN. From time to time, I only focus on the result of some appointment or activity instead of focusing on saving sentient beings which we came across. It was a hard year, because we had performances in two cities for the first time. At the end, we were far away from reaching sold-out theatre in Brno. I was completely broken inside for a long time, and even though our Master sent us message that our result was good, I was not able to accept His words.
When I look back to the roots of my orientation to result at that time, I can see that I took myself and my capabilities as crucial and I didn't realize that the success can come only when we cultivate well. Just as our Master emphasises several times in Zhuan Falun: “Cultivation depends on the efforts of the individual while transforming gong is done by the master.”
My ordinary job
About a year ago, my wife and I moved to Ostrava city. I found a job near home in a German company which makes components for the automotive industry. I work there as a production planner. It's a very demanding job because you are under huge pressure from all sides. On the other hand, thanks to this fact I come across many colleagues, from workers up to the highest management, and thus I have opportunities to clarify the truth.
Germans are well-known for their accuracy and precision, and that's why this setting fitted well with my ideas. Half a year later we started to drop in our productivity level and we were in a difficult situation. I tried to plan the production optimally, without any error and with very close connections. But we were still not successful and people started to make more and more mistakes. Shortly after that, I started to carry my work with me in my head even when I was studying the Fa, doing the exercises and FZN. My deviating from the righteous path was evident immediately – I started to be more arrogant towards my colleagues, sometimes even exploded in front of my colleagues, I pointed out other people's mistakes vehemently and even demanded their punishment. I didn't have enough power to clarify the truth, and even if I had this idea, another idea came to my mind: “How could they accept the truth from you, when you behave contrary to the principles?” I stayed overtime at work and came home exhausted. I nearly stopped doing the exercises during the workdays and when studying the Fa I often fell asleep or thought about my work. Weekends were my only rescue and I tried to put myself together during that time.
One weekend I said to myself that it's not possible to continue like that, that I can't take these issues at work so seriously, and I realized suddenly that they were caused by my orientation to result, behind which were hidden attachments to fame and self-satisfaction of well-planned logistics – a notion which I formed during my life. When I was studying Zhuan Falun I also realized that the company could have had some karma, and even if I stood on my head, things might not necessarily improve: “The principles of ordinary human society cannot be casually violated. In the course of cultivation practice, a practitioner, out of his or her compassion, can do some good deeds by helping treat diseases and heal others’ illnesses, or maintain their health—these are permitted. However, one cannot completely heal other people’s illnesses.”
After this experience I started to take my work much more lightly and things started to improve. I even gained back my enthusiasm which our Master calls us upon.
Writing this experience sharing
I will mention the last example of my orientation to result – I hesitated a lot whether I should write this experience sharing paper. Fortunately, I realized that my orientation to result was what blocked me – I was afraid that my sharing wouldn't be up to par to the conference, that it wouldn't stand among other sharing papers. And why? Because behind that was hidden fear of losing face and competitiveness. As I was writing this experience sharing, I probably improved in getting rid of all those attachments. Because exactly during this time my workplace made a record and we surpassed our plan by several tenths of per cents. I thank Master for His hint that I am again on a right track.
I would like to conclude my sharing with the quotation from Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan in 2006: “Having a loose approach where you cultivate in ordinary society might appear to be relaxed, but think about it: the standard that you are required to meet—having righteous thoughts and righteous actions as you put your cultivation into practice—is actually very strict, for it all relies on your will in regard to the Fa to really, sincerely cultivate. Here amidst the secular world, it is all up to you to walk the path correctly and to go beyond ordinary people when immersed in this complicated setting. Everything that ordinary people seek; everything that ordinary people want to gain; everything that ordinary people act on, say, and do—all of this is, for you, what needs to be cultivated away.”
Please, kindly point out any misunderstandings of the Fa in my experience sharing.
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