Some Reflections on My Cultivation

Dear Master, esteemed fellow practitioners,

It has been 7 years now since I obtained the Fa in October 2005. For more than 6 years I have been a Dafa disciple in the Fa-Rectification period. In my normal job I work as a Journalist – a job that requires fast writing skills. Despite this, it has taken me 5 years to write this experience-sharing article.

It is not that the actual process of writing has taken me so long – but since the year 2007 I have not handed in a sharing article at a Fa-Conference, may it be nationally or internationally. It´s not because I had never started to write a sharing or not had any valuable cultivation experiences. During that time period I have experienced a lot clarifying the truth to colleagues, have participated in the Epoch Times-reporting on about 100 Shen Yun shows, have been involved in further Shen Yun activities in Vienna have had many cultivation experiences working in a leading position for The Epoch Times.

Not being able to finish an experience sharing article up to today – the emphasis lies on finishing, as various times I had started writing a sharing but never completely finished it – mainly has the following reasons: Not passing the lust-test and the resulting feeling of being unworthy. Unworthiness and eroticism, those two attachments are deeply rooted in me and I haven´t always done well in removing them. Those attachments haven´t been able to stop me from cultivating, but have led to delays over and over again and have led to myself not being able to follow Master´s arrangement one hundred percent. That´s how it came about that a Journalist who is used to fast writing took 5 years to finish an experience sharing article.

Recently I’ve had a major breakthrough from this vicious circle when working together with fellow practitioners on a fair, in which we could present Shen Yun by doing a Han Couture fashion show. After five days filled only with preparing and carrying out the fashion show, studying the Fa and doing the exercises plus selling tickets for Shen Yun, my state changed dramatically.

When those five days were over I didn’t have any strength left and was plain exhausted. But during the following days I noticed that the substances that let me hold on to eroticism had fallen away from me. At the same time some conflicts with my family that seemed unsolvable finally got resolved. As if the separating factors between me and my siblings – factors which I had not been able to dissolve by cultivating and looking inside – had been wiped away, our relationship suddenly became harmonious again in a miraculous way. This has again shown to me, how valuable the work for Shen Yun is – if we do it, we collect mighty virtue, and with a pure heart knots can be untied that seemed unsolvable to us.

Come join the Lotus Tour

Before the 13th anniversary of the beginning of the persecution of Falun Gong on July 20th 2012, various practitioners and I went on a Truth-Clarification-Tour through Austria – the ‘Lotus Tour’. In the year 2006 we had already done such a tour, and the strong wish appeared in my mind to go on such a tour again this year.

A tour like that needs the collaboration of many practitioners. In many, partly very good, partly very painful lessons, I realised how very much connected we as Dafa disciples are. Thus we can either bring each other forward a lot when working together – or rather constrain each other.

It was clear to me: In order to make the Lotus-Tour a success, the support from fellow practitioners was essential. Every negative thought can have a negative impact. A fellow practitioner had the understanding that every negative thought can be pulled back. I took that as an important hint and shared this understanding with others on a frequent basis.

We made good progress, and a website for the tour was developing – but then a fellow practitioner said to me that there is not that much energy in the project yet – it would mainly be filled by my energy so far.

I was a bit hurt, when I heard that – I didn’t really think of my energy as being low. Those were all human thoughts, though, and I knew what he meant. I shouldn’t treat the whole project like an enterprise I was managing and whose founder I was, but rather as a Dafa project I only took care of as a coordinator.

Thus the project developed a lot more power. That showed itself most amazingly during the creation of the ‘Lotus-Tour-song’, a song that practitioners in Austria had sung and composed especially for the Lotus-Tour. A practitioner sent the lyrics to the Austrian E-Mail-List for practitioners. An active and very good process started, during which the lyrics constantly improved – and during which some fellow practitioners I had not thought would do it were bringing in their thoughts.

Unconditional Cooperation

Just before the tour should have started, not all the applications for the permission had been done. I felt the pressure on me start to grow. I knew: I won’t be able to make it on my own. I overcame my pride and told my fellow practitioners about my state and asked them for more help. That worked out just great, and again I was shown: Fa-rectification is not the time for false heroism. It is righteous to hand over tasks one has accepted if it is not possible to fulfil them in time – although it definitely is better if that doesn’t happen. But who of us has never made mistakes or shown weakness?

At the end of the tour we had visited all 9 capitals of provinces in Austria. Various pages of petitions to stop the persecution had been filled with signatures and a few thousand flyers distributed. From city to city more and more practitioners participated, and for the final event on July 20th, where the local Dafa association organised also organised a big event, more than 20 practitioners participated. An older practitioner who used to be a truck-driver drove 2.000 Km in 5 days. It was really touching.

It was also this fellow practitioner who put me in touch with the owner of a Radio station to do an interview there about the Lotus-Tour. The name of that man sounded familiar. Oh yes, i knew him already – he had seen Shen Yun in 2009 with his whole family and I had interviewed him after the show. Later on I nearly started to work for his station, but it seems the time had not come by then. But now we met with him and he said, “Truthfulness, Compassion and Forbearance – that´s exactly what we need in our broadcasts“. He knew The Epoch Times from my previously mentioning it, and he asked me if I wanted to host a radio show. “Like The Epoch Times, but on radio“. I was amazed – and agreed on the spot.

Every second week there will be this broadcast during which people will learn the truth as well as listen to China´s old wisdom. And although it´s a local radio, people from all over the world can listen because the program is also broadcast on the Internet. Up to today the interview I gave about the Lotus-Tour has already been broadcast, and I could clarify the facts in-depth in that interview and was also allowed, even encouraged, to promote Shen Yun 2013 in Vienna. At the end of the program the “Lotus-Tour-Song” was played on air.

In my view the most important insight from and key to the success of the Lotus-Tour: No matter how able one is or one thinks he is, it is more important to cooperate and create a harmonious field rather than doing everything on one´s own or even wanting to do everything on one´s own in one´s thoughts. Let go of that mind-set, have trust in others and support them. It’s also one´s Ego if we don´t accept help or don´t say if we are not able to fulfil a task because we are really in an inappropriate state. Thanks to everyone who silently came in and made up for my shortcomings. I also tried to do this for others if necessary.

Informing about organ harvesting crimes to media

Out of the blue an Author and friend who works on a book on Organ harvesting, wrote to me saying he would come to Vienna and if I could show him a few nice coffee houses. I took the opportunity and wrote back to him: “For sure – but only if in return you take some time to give journalists interviews about Organ harvesting.“ He immediately agreed.

This time the focus was clear and I tried to raise awareness for the importance of media and the big opportunity that had been put in our hands by being able to connect a renowned book author with journalists in Austria. This time we used our chance. At the end the author didn’t have enough time for all the media that wanted to do an interviews with him, they were too many. We even had to turn down the Austrian TV. The biggest Austrian News Agency wrote a very clear article in which the true facts of Organ harvesting of live Falun Gong practitioners were exposed and the background of the disempowerment of Bo Xilai was stated.

Jealousy removed, cooperation improved

During that process I tried very hard to cooperate unconditionally. That wasn´t always easy for me, especially with the Dafa Association. I had had some bad experiences and had created some negative notions about those practitioners.

I could stay calm – most of the time – and corrected myself immediately when some resistance built up in my thoughts against some practitioners. I knew that these practitioners have also been trying hard and haven´t always had an easy life with me. On top of that our Master has clearly stated that we should cooperate unconditionally.

Throughout all of my lifetime I always had difficulty with being subordinate. Be it, because I’m a Fa-King in my world, be it, because I have been educated with modern, warped notions in this lifetime – when I look inside, as a practitioner I mainly see two points:
-Lack of loyalty

Jealousy is the second crucial point why I had issues with superiors. When I listened to the Master´s Audio lecture from Guangzhou recently I realised that I´m already jealous when I can´t be happy from my heart for somebody else when he or she receives something good. When I enlightened to it, my heart became wide and I realised I had made a big step forward in cultivation.

I hope that I’ll be able to fully get rid of my jealousy and that we as cultivators in Europe can make fast steps forward in this regard. Jealousy is the biggest obstacle in cooperation.

Thank you revered Master!
Thank you, fellow practitioners!

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