I was under the impression that I had been successful in letting go of my attachments to fame and money in my cultivation. I realized that, in reality, I had not. Many attachments remain hidden, and through my diligence in cultivation, will surface. Recently, I read Master's new lecture, “20th Anniversary Fa Teaching,” and came to realize that I still hold the attachment of greed.
In the past, Master talked about the structure of the universe and its many levels, and thus expanded our horizon. Master also mentioned that Dafa disciples had come from high levels. Upon hearing this, I became complacent. I wondered how high a level I came from. Master once said that the levels below us are crystal clear to us at a glance, but the ones above us remain an enigma. As my mind was going through this process, I felt lost and regretful, thinking that even if I go higher, what is above me is still an enigma. Unless I am the colossal firmament that Master was talking about, then everything within it is crystal clear to me at a glance. However, Master also said that beyond this colossal firmament there are still many more colossal firmaments which are unlike the one in which we dwell. Then, what are these colossal firmaments like? I have always had this irrational thinking, curiosity, and desire to know.
In the “20th Anniversary Fa Teaching,” Master again explicated the vastness of the universe. The universe is simply too large to comprehend. However, even such a universe is still just a speck of dust in a larger universe. The universe is just boundless, so vast that my imagination can never comprehend it. I feel filled with the attachment of “desire” I had in the past. Where did this attachment come from? Why didn't I acknowledge it in the past? I know that this attachment derives from selfishness. It is an established notion. At a very young age, I was indoctrinated by the Party culture and driven by the pursuit of money and fame. When I had just entered elementary school, I was already thinking about going to college. That was during the Cultural Revolution. My grades in school were good, but I was not destined to go to college. The evil Party promotes, "A soldier that doesn't want to be the marshal is not a good soldier," "an athlete who doesn't want to be a champion is not a good athlete." The Party culture has, in fact, inflated people's jealousy, desires, and struggle. In fact, people's lives are predestined. They are arranged by gods. Lives have levels. All professions have hierarchies. Everyone has his or her position in society. There is only one king in a nation, one commander in an army, one champion in a contest. If one insists in fighting relentlessly for something, it will foster greed and desire, and unknowingly, it corrupts people's minds. Why are there so many corrupt officials? It is all caused by greed and desire. Traditional culture stressed self-restraint, acceptance, harmony between man and nature, following the course of nature, etc., and people's greed and desire were relatively small. During my cultivation, although my greed for ordinary things is rather small and insignificant, this greed has shifted to pursing higher cultivation levels. I know I must thoroughly relinquish this attachment.
From Master's lectures, I understand that, beyond the “three realms,” all lives feel good about themselves. Gods don't have the attachment of feeling discontent like ordinary people. They don't have greed or desire. We can't use human mentality to think of gods. Master said in the past that the focus of gods is on returning to their homes, while not caring how low or high their levels are. Whimsical thinking or fantasy are delusions and lead to greed and desire, which are human attachments. How can we bring “greed” and “desire” with us to the heavens? We can't enter paradise without relinquishing them. Only when we take Master's teachings into our hearts, do what we are supposed to, save what we are supposed to save, fulfil our missions and responsibilities, and solidly cultivate ourselves well will we be able to return home with Master.
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