| Published: Wednesday 21st October 2009 |
|
By Yunduo
I am a young female practitioner. Because I'm attractive, I often hear compliments from colleagues and friends. As a result, I am generally very concerned about saving face, and this attachment often controls my behaviour. I had been deeply concerned about this, but was unable to resolve the fundamental issue.
Even though I am very used to this type of praise, I couldn't help feeling happy inside when I heard it. I often thought, "I look refreshed and refined because I cultivate Dafa. How could I look unbearably vulgar like everyday people? An everyday person can only be as pretty as an everyday person, how could that compare to a cultivator?" This small attachment of zealotry can become very strong. Because I usually pay a lot of attention to my appearance, I often spend lots of time on my clothes and makeup before I go to work or go out somewhere, so that people will think that I look pretty.
Recently, a male practitioner told me that he has a very favourable impression of me. This male practitioner is someone who is regarded as a solid practitioner by others. To my surprise, I asked him why. He said that not only I was pretty, but I also knew how to dress in style, and my image often appears in his mind. After I heard those words, I didn't warn him, but instead felt happy inside and thought of myself as an attractive person.
As I was writing this article, I realized that everything happening around me is a reflection of my cultivation state. I still have the attachment of lust, and it not only interferes with me, but also with fellow practitioners. Obviously, vanity can lead to demonic interference. What is behind my enjoyment of being attractive? On the surface, this is a result of my vanity, but that is not all. As I looked deeper, I saw that it was an attachment to lust. This attachment can easily attract sentimental demonic interference.
Many female colleagues pay a lot of attention to brand names, and they often secretly compete. I was also influenced by this environment. I felt that I shouldn't look too plain and simple, otherwise I would be laughed at. Driven by vanity, I started paying attention to brand names, and used a large portion of my salary to buy brand name products.
Due to my inflated attachment, other practitioners pointed out my issue several times, but I didn't pay attention. I was preoccupied with buying and wearing brand name products and living a "happy life." During this period of time, I did the three things (study the Fa [the teachings of Falun Dafa], send forth righteous thoughts and clarify the truth about Falun Dafa and about the persecution to the world's people) as if they were assignments from Teacher.
Looking back at this part of my cultivation path, I realized that I still have many fundamental attachments, including fame, self interest and sentimentality, that are related to vanity. What a big loophole it is. It is time for an "awakening."
As I write, I suddenly remembered Teacher's Fa,
"He who acts for his name
a life of anger and hate is his
He who acts for profit
cold is he, knowing not his kin
He who acts for emotion
many are the troubles he brings himself
Bitter,
fighting away,
he makes karma all his life." ("An Upright Person" from Hong Yin )
By writing the article, I have been able to dig out and summarize my showing off mentality that was hidden so deeply. I want to eliminate it, cleanse and rectify myself, do the three things better, rectify every single thought, word and action, be diligent and fulfill my vows, and return to my original home with Teacher.
These are my limited understandings, please point out anything inappropriate. Heshi!
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